Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, I wandered lonely as a cloud, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times… All fabulous first lines that draw us into the story/poem/fortune cookie. With this in mind you can understand the pressure I’ve been feeling to ‘draw’ people into my blog. Especially as I took a wee wander round the blogger community this evening and realized, with abject horror, that the most popular blogs appear to be centered around the following subjects:
<em>The Lord, my Saviour
The Lord, your Saviour
Cute pets doing crazy things
The Lord, Obama
Quick fix answers for bad parents (No, seriously!)
Cute parent pets of Obama doing gossip about the Lord</em>
With this realization came this; I’m totally screwed if I ever expect to get any readers. And before I start to get an influx of slanderous hate mail claiming I’m disrespecting their Lord/president/parent/cute pet, I’m really not. Hell, I’m doing a blog centered round my never ending irritation at the human race so I’m really in no position to judge yours now am I? No, I’m just commenting that to have a blog that is read by more than two people (or, as in my case, ONE!) you ‘might’ consider including one of the above topics. And that, my friends (friend), is a bloody shame.
Now I realize that this is a massive sweeping statement (I tend to make these you know) and in no way covers all the blogs I read this evening that were popular… Or deserved to be popular. I read a fair few that were absolutely excellent and, in the spirit of human kindness (or boredom, you decide), I’ve decided to add a couple of them to this post.
These blogs are interesting, highly amusing and written with the general reader in mind. Gregarious people who want to share their ‘passions’ with other people. No tacky ‘in’ jokes, lax grammar, shameless plugs for fellow illiterates or any of the other teeth grindingly low standard nonsense.
I’m a huge literature fan (what do you mean you could never tell from my blog?) so me adding the book blogs make sense, but a couple of the others have nothing to do with anything that interests me. So why link to them? The authors are enthusiastic about their subjects. They don’t assume the reader is an expert on the subject they’re blogging about and that is a very welcome change.
On a serious note (oh cherish this, it’s a rarity!), I now know that I’d rather have one or two (oh ok, one) readers who were genuinely interested in what I had to write as opposed to a whole army of ‘you add mine, I’ll add yours’ arse lickers who have no more intention of reading my blog than they do of taking a course in basic grammar.
So Ness, did you learn a thing or two about how to get you’re following figures up? No, no I did not. Mind you, you’ll notice there’s a distinct lack of the words sex, vibration and masturbation in this post… Oh crap!
Until next time, look after yourselves… and your fellow bloggers.