twilightRight, if you are a Twilight fan then you should know that this blog is NOT damning them all to Hell. In fact, I’m not really sure where I’m going with this so bare with me.
First off, I have never seen the movie Twilight. Yes, yes I can hear all the shouts of ‘sacrilege’ now, but for some reason it missed my radar (which is odd given that I am a ridiculously big Sci-Fi fan) and I have no knowledge of it. I haven’t read the fan books, bought the T-shirt, nor am I drinking from the mug. Nope, I have no links with Twilight in any way, shape or form.
Imagine my horror then, when a few of my close friends (less close now right enough) recently informed me that a change of nickname may be in store.
“What? Why? This is the first nickname I’ve had that in no way implies I’m idiot, over talkative, highly sexed, annoying or some screwed up combination of the four”
“Nessie has bad connotations since the release of the Twilight books. Believe us when we tell you, you do NOT want people to think you have that nickname for the same reasons the character in book does”
“Bollocks! I don’t care why some random character has the same nickname as me in some oblique book. Not everybody will identify me with her. I’m Nessie because I’m from the highlands of Scotland, people know of my existence but rarely see me (thanks to my antisocial behaviour) and I can be seen us funny to some and just plain bloody creepy to others. Now THAT’S a proper reason for a nickname. I’m confident the people will see sense”
“You’re an idiot Nessie”
“Yes, your point is?”
“Anyone who’s read the book is going to associate you with that character. When it happens we will laugh at you and tell you we told you so”
“I’m confident I’m right”

Two weeks later and I open my blog email to read the comments. The first seven read:
‘Oh, we love Twilight too Nessie’



Filed under RANTS

6 responses to “TWILIGHT CAN BITE ME!

  1. Ugh those books are so awful it’s gross. The movie managed to make them even more god awful. How that book has legions of followers I’ll never know. I would have never associated you with that abomination of a child in that series and I’ve read every one of those books.

  2. You’re a smart man Willabe, sadly the rest of the Internet is not. There’s so many bloody (see what I did there?) fan groups dedicated to this insidious franchise that I fear we are a dwindling number my friend!

  3. Only too true hahahaha

  4. Anete Smith

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  5. Hey there, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then
    that, amazing blog!

    • I’m a complete luddite when it comes to the internet so I’m not entirely sure I know why this is happening, but cheers for the heads up and thank you for the kind words 🙂

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